I look upon a scene of complete randomness; groups of cats and dogs trotting up an invisible wall, each area their paws touch ripple outward, as if walking in a shallow pool of water. Feeling risky, as I am unsure whether this is reality or just fantasy, (hard to tell with the occurrences that follow me) I walk forwards, inching ever closer to the scene before me. As I approach, every individual cat and dog turn their heads to look at me. To my dismay, I realize that none of them have eyes, just empty, hollow sockets staring absently in my direction.
"What beasts have I stumbled upon?" I ask, curious as to whether these creatures had the intellect to reply.
One of the dogs, assuming it is one or at least looks as such, opens its mouth. A row of sharp, gnarly teeth appear. I shudder, imagining a helpless little chick facing the dark, hungry glare of a fox. (Morbid, I realize, but hey! Everyone has their days and my day is today, so deal with it!) "We.. We are merely creatures prowling and lurking in the recesses of every living creatures' minds. The ones that do dream, that is," it replies.
"Is there any significance to your presence?"
"Depends on how you perceive the infortmation.. Our appearance can be enough to frighten those of weak will. So, simply enough, I can say, yes and no. We are called the Unforsaken. Creatures that bear the ill will of the world, the embodiment of the negativity that exists in all dimensions. However, we intend no actual harm, rather we are messengers of ominous things to come."
"What information do you have for me?" I ask, curiosity boxing me around, knocking me silly like a date rape drug in a female's drink.
"You are to face many trials and tribulations in your journey. The world you live in is facing dark times. An evil force shall become apparent eventually and you will become a part of something far greater than you will ever know. Until that time, be wary and prepared."
"Haha. Is that all? Dark times follow me like prostitutes to free money, King Kong to the nearest semi-attractive broad to man-handle, George W. Bush to the next pretzel that may threaten his life.."
"Alright, alright, I get it!" the Unforsaken exclaims. Agitation, although hardly noticeable, flashes across its face.
"Just making sure you get the point," I smile. "I shall face it when it comes. But who is to say that this is just my mind playing tricks on me? Trying to scare me into divulging my secret Halloween candy stash spot? Steal my identity and squander my reputation? Not that I have a great one to begin with..."
"What ramblings..." it mutters. "Take it as you will. Either embrace the information at hand or blow if off as if it was nothing more than a dream."
As it finishes the sentence, the scene becomes blurry, faded, as if looked upon behind warped glass. It swirls, becoming ever more unclear until finally...
I awake to find myself on a beach. Brushing the wet sand from my clothes and armor, I look out upon the waters in front of me. 'How is it that every time I have found myself submerged, on the verge of drowning, I always manage to survive? In this armor especially!' I think to myself. (And another thing... Why have I not mentioned that I wear armor? At least I don't think so... But, YES I DO WEAR ARMOR! and water mixed with armor equals disaster.) There must be a force out there watching my ass, maybe like Lady Luck, with all her sexy goodness... Woah, wait, I don't know what she looks like. Er.. Gutter-mind...
As I watch the tides flow in and out, reminding me of a little punk that taunts you with something awesome, but his annoying nature makes you instead forget about that and wanting to pummel him, a force impacts the back of my head, knocking me into the wet sand. (I do have a nasty habit of being hit in the head or knocked unconscious.. What is with that?)
"As they say, you should always be on guard," a familiar voice says.
I jump up, too angry to notice the pain and the person who caused it. "WHO IS THEY?! AND WHAT MAKES "THEY" SO SMART?!" I exclaim, kicking at the wet sand, missing and falling back to the ground.
"Haha.. Temper tantrums are very unbecoming of you, Sir Wilhelm. And over such a trivial thing as who they is... You cease to amaze me."
I lift myself back up, facing the person who has caused this whole senseless moment. Realization pulverizes my senses. Sir Eric the Black of Door stands before me, holding his staff in one hand and a look of irritation and amusement on his face. Reminds me of a bull that hates your presence, but is happy to gore the piss out of you. Not that the two are related...
"Nice to see you Sir Eric. Even though it looks as if you have made off better than I have. Why has nothing bad happened to you, while I get pinned down by a giant squid at one point and left to drown in the ocean the next?" I reply, brushing the blasted sand from my being for a second, and hopefully, last time for awhile.
"The Gods hate you, not me. And as for escaping that predicament, it was simple. Remember.. That captain was going to marry the victor. After you disappeared into the depths of the ocean, all of us unsure whether you would make it or not and then discarding such a thought, they arranged a wedding ceremony. As brilliant as I am, I devised that her men should swim a lap in celebration of our joining. The imbeciles, each and every one, jumped ship, only to drown because they forgot they could not swim. With part one of the plan accomplished, I made my way to the captain's chambers, where she was finishing some wedding details. With my charisma and charm, I seduced her into to be tied up and gagged. Trust me, I did not think it would be so simple, but apparently, pirates really are not known for their brains."
"I never get off that easy!" I exclaimed, the blood rushing to my face, making me look like a strawberry or something red anyways.
"Ah well, enough about that," Sir Eric says, brushing off my comment. "I made my way here, figuring if you did survive, you would wash ashore here. As luck would have it, you were, so I had to get your attention somehow."
"By hitting me in the back of the head?! What a companion you are.."
"No one ever said I had to be nice about this.."
"Alright, fine, whatever," I snap back. "Where are we anyways?"
"I can tell you, human!" a figure says, erupting from the growth further on the island. A few others figures burst through behind the first one, snarling and growling like a pack of dogs. As far off as they were, I could tell they are orcs.. a demi-human plague. Dealing with orcs is like dealing with a rabid rabbit... There is no dealing with one. What bad memories..
"Well, not before we take both of you captive!" Of course, another instance where the Gods shun me! Why? I hate all of you!
"Let them capture us, "Sir Eric says. "That way we can figure out exactly where we are and then formulate a plan."
"I thought your style was to stand and fact and act all badass?" I inquire, a small smirk flashing across my lips.
"Usually is, but this time.. Let's just say I am feeling a little lazy."
"Are you planning on knocking us out first?" I yell to the apparent orc leader. I had one of those nasty feelings he would answer with a yes.
"Of course. Less resistance and easier to carry, human!" the leader snarls. I knew it... Always with the knocking out part. What about my poor brain cells? I can hear them yelling, "NOOO. Another group of my family succumbs! We will avenge you... or die in some stupid instance too, since Sir Wilhelm has a knack for it!!"
Taking the moment as the other orcs make their way towards us to collect myself, I knew there was only one course of action... Raising my fist into the air, watching the silhouette that forms as it blocks the sun from my view, I bring it down with force into my face. The impact is enough to knock me right out... (Could not give the captors the pleasure this time... Hah!)
Darkness envelops my mind, a seemingly constant companion in my misadventures. I could say adventures but, really, with all that has happened to me thus far, it has to be misadventures.. Yep. As I slowly fade from reality, I swear I could see the Gods laughing at me, pointing their fingers at me with much amusement. I can only think of malice towards these beings, always fucking with me! One of these days, I will come up there and kick all your arses. Your time will come!
No comments:
Post a Comment